Take that, 30 day challenge!

Day 30 is done! And let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. I felt like a freaking rock star for the first half, but somewhere in the middle, the entire class started to falter. People were sobbing. Literally. It was just that kind of day I guess.

So now that this is all over, what do I have to show for it? Let me tell you a story. When I started going to Bikram yoga, I was probably like most women in class. I wore long pants and a shirt to cover myself. I was self conscious and afraid of showing everyone my pale tummy and jiggly thighs. Most of all I was afraid of looking at it myself. In Bikram yoga, there are mirrors. The students spend most of the class focusing on their reflections in the mirror while doing the postures. The point is to give you something to focus on, which helps your mind stay focused. Most people just don’t like focusing on themselves. One day it got too much for me. I was too damn hot. I took off my shirt and bared my belly for everyone to see. Guess what? The world didn’t end. No one laughed and pointed. But now I had a new problem. At first, when I would stand in front of the mirror, half naked and pale, I would point out to myself the million and one imperfections I saw in myself. My belly was squishy. I had cellulite on my thighs. My waist didn’t go in enough. My nose is big. One eye is bigger than the other. The list could go on and on. I wanted to be perfect and I wasn’t.

I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but those thoughts, one by one, started to go away. They just got in the way of class. You can’t focus on balancing on one leg and holding your foot if you’re worried about looking cute, now can you? There just wasn’t enough room in my head. Eventually, the yoga won. It wasn’t even that I learned to like the imperfections, it’s that I just didn’t see them any more. I’m sure they were mostly just in my head. I used to spend literally half an hour looking at myself in the mirror pointing out everything I didn’t like. Now I can spend half an hour looking at all the things I love about myself.

Not only did Bikram yoga teach me how to love myself, it taught me to love myself while I’m half naked, dripping in sweat, with make up running down my tomato red face. If I can love myself there, I can love myself anywhere!

See? Don't I look happy all gross and sweaty?